Friday, January 4, 2008

On Abused Wives, Abusive Husbands

I have just arrived from an audition for a so-called TV plug for a women's desk program of a local channel. The role is that of an abusive husband, a non-psychotic one, I was told by one of the panel. When I was asked to act out using ad lib based on a working script, I admitted it will be difficult for me since I have great respect for women. One of the members of the panel teased me by exclaiming "Laki ka sa Lola mo (you were raised by your grandmother)" and I jokingly said, "Nope. I'm a mama's boy." There was laughter in the hall as the camera went on rolling. The conversation made me comfortable that I started really reading the small piece paper and then suddenly I recalled a real incident where I defended a close family member from a verbal abuse paired with a regular gun shot in the air instigated by her husband. I started recalling his voice and the stance he always had but my role was to be of a more domineering and boastful executive. As I was told to deliver my lines ( where I talk about my wife as a lap dog) talking casually with the two male members of the panel, I felt my left eye brow rise and I felt lines forming on my forehead. I was ready to be mean! The exchanges went on until one of them shouted "Nakakainis ka!" Whew! It was all I could give them for the closest I got to acting was acting in plays for speech and drama classes. This audition was pure fun yet it made me realize and remember that there are many wives who would still fight for their love amidst the pain of the many forms of abuse from their husbands. They may not have realized that such tolerance is already a form of self-abuse. Can we still call it love?


  1. This is saddening and very true. That’s why we need more and more service oriented program like women's desk to help out abused women to determine how and when to draw the line. I personally only realized the reality about this kind of abuse and violation against humanity when I exposed and joined people's organization that help protect all kinds of human rights. "Yung akala ko na pang telenovela lang, eh totoo pala na nangyayari." Domestic violence in the Filipino traditional family household is really common and yet we need to see the story behind that story of women "allow" this type of self-abuse. Maybe it's because of the social structures and the system we have as a male dominant community and the typecast among women to be the submissive and the martyr type who always do the laundry etc and stay at home. I think, if there will be a statistics in determining where the high rate of abused wives is, it would be on the women who stay at home, have no work and depend solely on abusive husbands' support financially speaking. Wives then are mitigated as a property of the husband. For pete's sake, this should not be the case! That's why advocacy on women empowerment, support and education continues in helping them out to be aware of their right and fight for it. Too many for a comment, I just can't stop my Lola Gabriela Silang's (he he) words of wisdom rumbling in my ears.

  2. can't imagine you to be in a meanie role. Your name just fits you and your face. Cheers!!!

    same online buddy